Weekend Battle Report

Tau Empire Bork’an Sept vs Space Marine Thunder Ravens (e/ Grey Knight allies) 2000pt Game

Game Type: Dawn of War, The Emperor’s Will (2 objectives)

On The Board

Tau: Crisis Commander and Body Guards, 2 Crisis Teams, 3 Fire Teams + Devilfish, Pathfinders + Devilfish, Kroot, Hounds and Shaper, Broadsides, 2 Hamerheads with Railguns

Marines: Darnath Lysander, 5 x Terminators, 6 x Scouts, 1 x Landraider, 1 x Tactical Squad, 1 x Dreadnought. Grey Knight Brother Captain, 5 x Grey Knight Terminators, 1 x Nemesis DreadKnight, 1 x Stormraven.

Turn 1

TAU:

Winning the first turn the Tau decides to let the Marines deploy first. Great, they think, ‘this chump isn’t going to steel the initiative?’ But behold, A SIX. “Shit luck.” That’s right, no hiding those shiny metal boxes. Deploying into the field the broadside team remove the Land Raider. Nothing but smoke.

Marines:

Having seen the Landraider obliterated before even shifting into 1st gear and the scouts reduced to an army-of-one, there wasn’t much left for the marines to do. A few pot shots at the Devilfish failed to penetrate the armour and the Emperors finest were left with a look of confusion etched into their genetically engineered faces.

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Turn 2

TAU:

Not going well already both commanders realise that much of their force is in reserve. The Shas’O Commander grins. “Let’s table these sweaty steroid ridden meat heads”. Deep striking Crisis Suits and outflanking Kroot blob remove the tactical squads, but one lonely Dreadnaught holds out against rail fire.

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Finally Astarte’s luck! Rocking on to the field, Terminators and the Storm Raven. At this point the Kroot Shaper considers defection and the life of a mercenary. “These Suicide bombing “greater good” socialists have had it”

Marines:

Oh dear…  the last surviving scout could do nothing about the onslaught of Firewarriors, the tactical squad has been all but annihilated by Kroot and Broadsides and the Autocannon Dreadnought is the only unit left standing tall!

Time for some reinforcements….  The last member of the tactical squad ducks down and calls for help on the vox!

Soon enough, a Stormraven comes screeching across the battlefield and out of the ether appears a Dreadknight and Grey Knight Terminators!  Phew! However Lysanders unit mess up their deep strike and are delayed.

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The Dreadnought, in attempt to recover some victory points (and dignity), pummels one of the Devilfish with an autocannon barrage and reduces it to mere splinters!! “HAHA!! F%*$% Y*% and the horse you… “ etc. can be heard over the imperial vox network. It’s only a small consolation sadly….

Turn 3

TAU:

Not deterred by this, one plucky Hamerhead gunner reflects on the crosses on the side of his skimmer, “one more” he thinks. Taking aim at the zooming Storm Raven he rolls three sixes in a row! On the odds of 125/46656, the tank commander gets out his paint boxImage

Ending the game everything except Lysander and 2 termis made it alive.

Marines:

If Carlsberg made 40k Greek Tragedies – this would be one!

The mighty Grey Knight Stormraven shattered into dust by the luckiest railgun shot that has ever been witnessed in the history of everything ever.

The mighty Dreadknight  is summarily dispensed with by more Railguns. Those pesky Broadsides!!!

The mighty Grey Knight Terminators are cut down by crisis suits and Firewarriors leaving just the Brother Captain alive…  and in a final act of vengeance, he brings down an orbital strike which atomises the Tau warlord and his “body guard” – I use “” because what can he really do against death from above?

Lysander arrives but too far and too late to affect the battle.

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Results:

Tau:  13pts, Line Breaker, First Blood, Holding the Objective, Units Destroyed.

Marines:  6pts, Units Destroyed, Slay the Warlord.

Conclusion:

TAU:

The Tau got very, very lucky with dice rolls! But that said outflanking and volume of railguns caused a lot of problems for the riod machines. Next time I imagine the Marines will be taking advantage of flyer options and drop pods. The Tau has no sky-fire options and are ABYSMAL in assault.

Marines:

Maybe the marines should turn to Chaos…  I’m sure they have cookies.

The Tau dice were very lucky indeed but the doom was spelled from the stealing of the initiative. The deployment was careful and dependant on having the first turn.

Next time there will be less Terminators, more heavy hitting guns and more assault marines!

Space Marines don’t get schooled often, but the lesson was learned.

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